dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize