im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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