I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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