I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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