I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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