So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize