My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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