community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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