so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
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The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
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No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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