Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize