I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
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I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
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He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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