go do what you do best...puke behind churches
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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