I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize