Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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