I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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