the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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