everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
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Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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