Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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