I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
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You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize