True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
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Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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