"it" just moved
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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