Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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