the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
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this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
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The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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