Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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