Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize