Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

We need to get cat food

(713): View more from Texas

Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms

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(713): We need to get cat food (713): Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms http://tfl.nu/t07l

Replies (23) Good night (5195) Bad night (747)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.

(503): View more from Oregon

I am not joking.

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(503): I just pulled a feather out of my vagina. (503): I am not joking. http://tfl.nu/l5ol

Replies (30) Good night (1327) Bad night (3902)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."

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(780): I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked." http://tfl.nu/ikiz

Replies (37) Good night (4735) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.

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(314): The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order. http://tfl.nu/ghcj

Replies (11) Good night (767) Bad night (3183) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.

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(815): If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight. http://tfl.nu/9c3v

Replies (40) Good night (3148) Bad night (6807) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.

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(720): I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like. http://tfl.nu/6yf0

Replies (5) Good night (1507) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm

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(410): I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7vv

Replies (13) Good night (2723) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.

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(918): I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains. http://tfl.nu/wys7

Replies (7) Good night (2412) Bad night (684)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time

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(717): just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time http://tfl.nu/oodw

Replies (4) Good night (1756) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.

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(813): Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y5hs

Replies (7) Good night (2095) Bad night (596)
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(845): View more from New York

Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.

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(845): Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible. http://tfl.nu/r0ag

Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x

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(+44): No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x http://tfl.nu/ydw7

Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (327)
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(815): View more from Illinois

One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.

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(815): One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day. (1-815): Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar. http://tfl.nu/0cqf

Replies (8) Good night (1153) Bad night (473)
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(915): View more from Texas

God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.

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(915): God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high. http://tfl.nu/a3ox

Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (178) Order T-Shirt
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(750): View more from

Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."

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(750): Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on." http://tfl.nu/43jv

Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (271)

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