She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
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We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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