So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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