i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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