Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize