She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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