Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize