Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize