make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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