i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize