Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
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isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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