you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
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She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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