I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize