wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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