Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
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She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
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Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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