May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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