does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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