Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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