You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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