so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
worst night to have a conscience
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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