My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize