I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize