Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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