I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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