so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
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Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
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I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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