I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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